1. When he says: We need to put politics aside and pass the three pending trade bills. 

What he means is: I've been holding these bills up for more than two years, but I want to make it look like it's the Republicans' fault, and I know I can count on my lap dog media friends not to call me on this blatant falsehood. 

2. When he says: We need to invest in clean energy jobs of the future. 

What he means is: Pay no attention to all those failed taxpayer-supported "green" companies over there. 

3. When he says: Thank you. God bless you and may God bless the United States of America! 

What he means is: Are you ready for some football?!?!